The House Is On Fire...Again. {& Other Crazy Thoughts of Mine)

by - Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Worry. Such a simple little word. Such a grand meaning.

I know everyone worries from time to time (if that's you, consider yourself lucky) but some of us, myself, were gifted with the extraordinary talent to worry about every. single. thing.

I mean, everything.

I seem to be a pretty normal person on the inside...or so I'd like to think. I like to laugh, have a good time, show my sense of sarcasm and sometimes even make a fool of myself, but on the inside, I sometimes find myself to be a complete and utter mess. I am the absolute epitome of a worry wart and I've come to the realization that the older I get, the worse it becomes. (Thanks, mom.)

How bad do my roots really look? Does this outfit even make sense? What is this person going to think of me? Did I say the right thing? Did Beau make it to work in one piece? I know he's playing softball tonight...what if he falls in a hole and breaks something? Am I making the right career choice? Is Oakley alive at home by herself? What if she chokes on a toy? Or escapes from her kennel, eats an entire roll of toilet paper and her entire jar of treats and we have to have her stomach pumped? Is my mom doing okay? Is she happy? What about my brother? Did him and his fiance make it into work okay? Am I going to be able to make the mile run up to my gym and back without literally passing out, dying and being left for the coyotes? I left the Crockpot going when I left. Crap-the house is on fire. Again.

That last thought was real (as with 99% of the others). As I was sitting in Fire Warden Training this past week (Yes. Fire Warden Training. Yes. I'm a "Warden" now. And yes, I'm totally adding that to my qualifications on LinkedIn.) watching horrific videos of families losing entire homes, all I could think about was my Crockpot (on the lowest) setting, cooking our dinner for the night, causing a spark and starting a fire. As I watched these poor innocent people's homes become engulfed in flames, my mind just went wild. Absolutely out of control to the point of me just wanting to get up and leave to be sure my house, indeed, was not on fire. I know Oakley knows how to escape from her kennel but would she be able to get out and survive? Would the firefighters get to my house in time and be able to rescue her? What if the smoke detectors didn't go off for some reason and the firefighters never got called? Would a neighbor see the flames and make the call? 

Granted some of these thoughts of mine are a little silly (okay-that last one is not silly) and even far-fetched but, some are just downright deep.

How old will I be when I die? How will it happen? Will my family be okay? Have I let them know how much I truly love and care for them? What if when I get pregnant, something is seriously wrong with our baby? What if I can never get pregnant? Will I even make a good momma? What if something happens to Beau? Did my dad know how much we loved him when he died? What if our house really DOES ever catch on fire? Are we going to get robbed tonight? Is some whackjob going to come into my office building and blow the place up one day? 

God forbid all of the above but these are real thoughts I've had on multiple occasions.

Have you ever thought about how much you actually worry about on a day-to-day basis? I know for me, it's probably not healthy. Let's be honest, y'all. It's a problem. 

But it's real.

Though I try turning my worries into happy thoughts or even drop a quick line to the Man upstairs and hope he doesn't consider me a total lost cause, sometimes my worries just continue to consume me and I can't stop myself from thinking all these crazy thoughts.

Do you worry this much and about crazy things like I do? Has your house caught on fire like 16 times now? (Please tell me I'm not alone here.) What do you do when you worry? How do you keep yourself from going nuts with all these weird thoughts we face on a daily basis?!

Thank GOD for ^that^, right?
Written by Stephanie from BEAUtiful mess

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